“What are you doing here?” he asked from the maple tree.
“Working,” I replied, “I’m cleaning this cart.”
I stopped when I realized I was talking to a blackbird. The red wings spread out as he spoke.
“I mean, what are you doing here?”
“Again, I’m cleaning this cart. How are you speaking to me in this voice?”
“From time-to-time we animals speak to humans. You’re familiar with the story of Balaam?” the blackbird asked.
“Hmm, wasn’t it an ass that stopped Balaam from cursing the Israelites?”
“True but back to my question, what are you doing here, right now? Shouldn’t you be working on something else?”
“Where else should I be? I’m working. You know, honest labor and all that.” I went back to wiping down the cart.
“But what about your plans that you announced and promised that you would accomplish? What happened?”
“I don’t remember making a promise to a bird. I don’t remember making a promise to anyone. Besides, I don’t know why I’m talking to you.”
“I’m your spirit guide.”
“Some spirit guide, gone half the year.”
“But Central America is so warm in December,” he lifted his head to the sun. “Listen, you stated to yourself and to others of this wondrous plan and you’ve only slightly moved forward. How can you complete your projects if you’re cleaning carts all day? You need time to work and not work all the time.”
“Kind of like ‘work smarter, not harder?’”
The blackbird sputtered, “I’ll not be mocked! I’m here to help remind you of your duties, to yourself and to your words.”
“Okay, I didn’t mean to… ruffle your feathers,” I couldn’t hide the smirk. “I’ll find time each day now that I’m sleeping better and can get organized, set deadlines and all that. I’ll get there but I have bills to pay, trees to plant, fences to build...”
“See to it! I want to see some progress.”
I nodded in agreement. I had to admit I was slacking off lately getting my words out.
“Oh, and one more thing,” the blackbird called.
Plop!
I then realized that my spirit guide was an ass after all.
Linked at Poets and Storytellers United, Writers' Pantry #69: I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot!
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and the hilarious ending.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked this, Helen. The ending was factual, believe me.
DeleteI did, too!
DeleteThank you, Jenna. It was a fun write.
DeleteBwahahaha! I'm with Helen, I've enjoyed this exchange so much. Are you sure you don't have a bit of Klingon in you? You see, B'Elanna Torres, a half Klingon woman in Star Trek: Voyager, killed her spirit guide during their first meeting for trying to boss her around. I guess you are a lot nicer then she is. I tremble to think what B'Elanna would've done if her spirit guide had plopped on her.
ReplyDeleteA very fun piece, Joel.
Thank you, Magaly, I'm glad you liked this. I'm not as familiar with this story but does sound like a Klingon.
DeleteIf I should kill him, I might be killing part of me as well.
Oh goodness, I hope you didn’t think I was suggesting you murder your spirit guide. I was just implying that the exchange between sound It a lot like a fight.
DeleteAh, thanks for clearing that up, Magaly. It did start a storyline in my head, though.
DeleteTrading insults is what me and my friends do. It helps us to keep each of us humble.
Our spirit guides do have a lively sense of humour, I've always found. And the guidance is good. (You'll feel better for taking it, I promise.)
ReplyDeleteThe blackbird isn't telling me what I didn't already know: I waste too much time.
DeleteThank you, Rosemary. This bird will return, I'm sure.
Hilarious and intriguing Loved this story. Would love to have a spirit guide reminding me of what I should do. I need one like that
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked this, Marja. Adding humor is one goal for my writing.
DeleteHow lucky birds are to be able to let it go anywhere!
ReplyDeleteThen they all were lucky to huddle in my shed this winter and spring!
DeleteThanks, Robin
Love this so much.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debi. I'm working on the humor in my writing lately.
DeleteLOL, looks like your spirit guide double majored in sass. But truth can sometimes get served up in sass form. Hopefully he'll drop the plop someplace else neck time. :D
ReplyDeleteHe better but he has many friends!
DeleteThanks for stopping by, Rommy